Returning to Osaka
by Kitsuneroyale
Summary: Ayumu Kasuga moves back to Osaka, to meet up with old friends, and make new ones. There may be spelling errors. I'm sorry about the delays.
1. Chapter 1

Returning to Osaka

By Kitsuneroyale

After the group walked out of school, Ayumu "Osaka" Kasuga was sighing very unhappily.

Chiyo: What's wrong Osaka?

Osaka: I have to leave tomorrow.

Yomi: Why didn't you tell us?

Osaka: I didn't have the heart to tell any of you.

Tomo: I would've probably made fun of it.

Yomi: Tomo! You shouldn't make fun of anyone leaving! It's disgraceful!

Tomo: She's leaving?

Chiyo: She just told you that! Why would you say such a thing!

Tomo: It took me too long for it to sank in. I was just remembering seeing Yukari's deformed car, and it had a case of beer inside.

Yomi: When will she stop drinking?

Kagura: Probably never.

Sakaki: Unless she went to rehab.

Everyone stood blankly at Sakaki.

Sakaki: Come on! Think about it: What else would help her stop drinking?

Tomo: Taking her away from night clubs?

Yomi: I think you've got something there.

Sakaki: To go back to the topic, why are you leaving, Osaka?

Osaka: My parents are looking for jobs there. They recently got fired from an accidental blackout.

Chiyo: We have to give you a going-away gift.

Yomi: What was the main thing you want for a going-away gift?

Osaka: I don't know, but all I can think of is a cat. And also, I've been thinking of going somewhere to ease the pain of leaving tomorrow. Why not karaoke?

Tomo: Well, as long as everyone pitches in.

Later, they all meet at the karaoke place.

Chiyo: Should we all sing a song together at the end?

Osaka: Okay.

After the six people sung their songs, they all sung together. Unfortunately, Osaka drank too much sake, and slurred on the words. She collapsed on the floor.

Yomi: Someone call an ambulance!

Sakaki immediately called an ambulance. After 20 minutes, the ambulance arrives and attempts to wake Osaka up.

Osaka: *YAWNS* Is it morning already?

Chiyo: No, we were singing, and you fell onto the floor trying to sing the last song.

Osaka: It was worth it.

The day after, the group meet up with Osaka and emotionally say goodbye.

Chiyo: Goodbye Osaka, we all pitched in to buy this cat.

Chiyo picks up a snow white cat and hands it to Osaka. Osaka becomes happy with it, but has no idea of what to call it.

Chiyo: So, what do you want to call it?

Osaka: Iro.

Sakaki: Derived from Iromote (NOTE: Iromote is one of the types of cats in Japan)?

Osaka: Yes. Goodbye Sakaki.

Sakaki: Goodbye.

Osaka: Goodbye Kagura.

Kagura: Goodbye.

Osaka: Goodbye Tomo and Koyomi.

Tomo and Yomi: Goodbye Osaka.

Osaka: Could you two kiss each other just once?

Tomo: Just once.

Yomi: Do you have champagne?

Osaka: Here *GRABS CHAMPAGNE AND POPS CORK*.

Both Tomo and Yomi drink the glass of champagne. Tomo and Yomi realised that they weren't drunk.

Yomi: This isn't champagne. That's soda in a wine bottle!

Osaka: Because of my drinking incident, they threw out all of the wine bottles.

Yomi: Screw it. Let's just do it.

Koyomi and Tomo kiss. That's it.

Kitsuneroyale: What? Did you expect more?

Osaka: *LAUGHS HAPPILY* That's the first time I've actually asked what I wanted!

Chiyo: Wait. Why?

Osaka: … I don't know. Well, the car's leaving. Goodbye everyone.

The group hug Osaka for one last time. As Osaka got in the car with the cat, she last looked at them tearfully, and waved goodbye.

Yomi: Does this mean the end of our existence with the author?

Kitsuneroyale: No.

The scene then switches to a new house in Osaka. Osaka then sings the Cleveland Show Intro in her version.

Osaka: My name is O-Sa-Ka and I am Proud-To-Be/Right Back In My-Home-Town with my same Fa-Mi-Ly.

The scene switches to Osaka on top of a cylinder. The scene then shows a mint, long haired girl, a red, pigtailed girl on the right, a khaki, short haired girl and a white, long haired girl with a black line in the middle of her hair.

Osaka: There's OLD FRIENDS and NEW FRIENDS and EVEN A CAT.

Osaka's cat, Iro, appears on the cylinder and made Osaka fall into chocolate.

Osaka: Through GOOD TIMES and BAD TIMES, I NEVER KNOWN A FACT.

Osaka then appeared into a chocolate heart, hugging her old friend.

Osaka: And they have FOUND-A-PLACE, where every ONE-WILL-KNOW

Osaka then appears from the top sitting on Chiyo-Father, and her four friends appear, both old and new

Osaka: My happy A-Sian-Face, This is O-Sa-Ka's Show! *GIGGLES HAPPILY*

A note from Kaleidoscope: I was aware that this would parody The Cleveland Show.

Another note from Kaleidoscope: About 4 more sequels will come.


	2. Chapter 2: Old and New Friends

Returning to Osaka (Part 2): Catching up with Old Friends

By Kitsuneroyale

As Osaka arrives to her hometown, the family first stopped at Osaka's previous high school. When Osaka first stepped into her school, the first thing she remembered was her old school teacher.

Osaka: Hi sensei!

Sensei: Are you Ayumu?

Osaka: Yes.

Sensei: I've missed you for so long! How did you go at your school?

Osaka: Awful. I seem to have lost all of my knowledge.

Sensei: At least it's nice to see you again.

A mint-haired girl named Aya walked into the middle of the corridor. She notices Ayumu; she was easy to spot with her long hair. Aya walks up to the entrance of the school.

Aya: Ayumu! How long has it been?

Osaka: Less than a year.

Aya: You haven't changed a bit.

Osaka: But you have. Why do you have mint hair? Did you fell into a toxic vat?

Aya: No. I don't know how I ended up with the colour.

Osaka: What was your original hair colour?

Aya: Amber (NOTE: This may spark a possible tie to Koyomi Mizuhara).

Osaka: And what's with the glasses?

Aya: Someone hit me with a lead pipe in my face, so that's why I have glasses.

Osaka: Maybe that wouldn't that have happened if I haven't left…

Aya: Some things can't be changed.

A Red, pigtailed girl walked up to Aya (NOTE: Chiyo rip-off)

Aya: Hey, Konan, look who's back.

Konan: Are you who I think you are?

Osaka: I'm Ayumu Kasuga.

Konan: Ayumu! Where have you been?

Osaka: Last time I remembered, I was back here.

Konan and Aya both laugh.

Konan: The school must have been unnamed to the public.

Aya: You must have some interesting stories to tell us. Where should we go?

Osaka: I was thinking where we used to go.

The scene later switched to a cake buffet shop. Osaka, Aya and Konan all enter and sit at the corner of the room with a window.

Osaka: What happened when I was gone? I know that you were bashed in the head with a pipe, so you had to wear glasses, and your hair was dyed as well, but what happened to you while I was gone?

Konan: I started visiting comic conventions and cosplays. I normally parodied a blue-haired otaku.

Osaka: Why didn't you dye your hair?

Konan: I had a wig for that.

Osaka: Oh. Did you make any new friends?

Aya: Just one, over there.

A white, long-haired girl, walks into the store and spots Aya. She is wearing a black shirt. Around that she is wearing a white trench coat. Below the shirt, she is wearing blue jeans with a black belt, and black shoes. Sitting on top of her head is a black baggy cap. She sits at the table where Osaka is sitting. She goes by the nickname "Polecat".

Polecat: Hi Aya. Konan.

Aya: Good to see you again.

Polecat: Who is that brunette sitting next to you?

Aya: That's Ayumu Kasuga. She just told me that she was called "Osaka" by her friend Tomo.

Polecat: Nice to meet you Osaka! My name is Yuta Midori, but I go by the name of Polecat, mainly because of the line in the middle.

Yuta takes off her baggy hat to reveal her line in the middle.

Osaka: Hi Yuta. What are your interests?

Polecat: My interests are mainly cosplaying, so I normally put on too many wigs. I'm also athletic, but I might feel shy talking to other people.

Konan: I guess that we have an otaku here.

Polecat somewhat feels angry over that comment. She attempts to suppress her anger.

Polecat: What did you just say?

Konan: *PANICS* NOTHING!

Osaka: Would you like to have something to calm your ocean?

Polecat: What?

Osaka: Would you like to eat?

Polecat: Yes.

Polecat, Osaka, Aya and Konan all pick their own cakes.

Polecat: Are you going to finish your cakes?

Konan: What about you?

Shows Polecat holding a plate with 20 slices of cake.

Polecat: To me, that is the normal amount for cake.

They then go back to their table.

Polecat, Osaka, Aya and Konan: ITADAKIMASU (Time to eat)!

When Polecat finishes her plate, she feels relieved.

Polecat: That was one of my favourite cakes.

Aya: But you only finished it all in 1 minute.

Polecat: I like to eat.

Osaka: You must've been hungry.

Polecat: I guess. What happened while you were gone, Ayumu?

Osaka: After I left Osaka, I was actually a straight-A student. However, I seem to have to lost my flame when I kept thinking about something else.

Polecat: Ouch.

Aya: That's one way to put it, Polecat, but that's not the point. Osaka seems to have lost her potential, somehow. So where do you live, Osaka?

Osaka: Over there.

Points to Osaka's house. It turns out that Osaka has lived next to the school and the cake buffet shop.

Polecat: Wow. Can we see your house?

Osaka: Okay.

While they were about to enter the house, a khaki, short-haired girl opens the door.

?: WELCOME BACK AYUMU!

Polecat: And who's that bitch over there?

Osaka slaps Polecat.

Osaka: YOU IDIOT! That's my nephew Yui. She's been house-sitting for me while I was gone.

Konan: She seems nice. Why did you swear at her?

Polecat: She reminded me of one of my old friends, Tomo. She looked so petite. Nothing like my other friend, Yomi. Why does she even wear those glasses?

Aya: Well, she wasn't bashed in the face by a lead pipe, I can tell you that.

Yui: Would you care to go in?

Osaka, Konan, Aya and Polecat all walk inside Osaka's house. Osaka's cat, Iro, noticed Osaka's footsteps, and climbs onto Osaka. Somehow, the cat's weight makes her fall backwards.

Polecat: That's just weird.

Osaka: Could you please get off me, Iro.

Iro meows kindly, and gets off of Osaka.

The room looks much like a typical Japanese home. Clearly, they weren't very surprised, but they did spot the kotatsu. Osaka seemed to have mainly enjoyed the kotatsu every day after school, to relieve her from stress.

Polecat: Can we visit your room?

Osaka: Okay.

Osaka leads them up the stairs. Aya attempts to open the door, but it's locked.

Aya: It's locked.

Polecat: Leave it to me.

Polecat pours soap over the door. Polecat attempts to open the door, but she only made it worse.

Osaka: I'll handle this. Yui!

Yui comes up with the key for Osaka's room. Yui opens the door, and the door slides out.

Osaka: Here is my room.

Aya, Konan and Polecat are shocked. Osaka's bedroom also has a kotatsu.

Konan: How many kotatsus do you have?

Osaka: 5.

Polecat faints face first on the floor.

Osaka: Did that get to her?

Aya and Konan also faint face first on the floor.

Osaka: Yui!

A note of Kitsuneroyale: My theory is that Osaka was smart, before she moved to a new city, and Tomo was originally from Osaka, which somewhat makes sense for Ayumu Kasuga to be called Osaka.

Another note of Kitsuneroyale: To end this chapter like this may sound unusual, but several people do that to mix the entire thing up.


	3. Chapter 3: Old and New Friends, Part 2

_**Returning to Osaka (Part 3)**_

_**By Kitsuneroyale**_

_**Osaka: Yui!**_

_**As Yui ran into Osaka's room, she noticed three people blacked out.**_

_**Yui: Should I get them to the hospital?**_

_**Osaka: No. Get the Smelling Salts.**_

_**Yui: I already got them here.**_

_**Osaka: Where does that stuff come from?**_

_**Kitsuneroyale: It's best not to think about it.**_

_**Anyway, about 5 minutes later… they wake up.**_

_**Polecat: What happened?**_

_**Osaka: You, Aya and Konan fainted after I mentioned the kotatsus.**_

_**Polecat: There were 5, right?**_

_**Osaka: Yes.**_

_**Polecat: What else do you have?**_

_**Osaka: I have a Nintendo Wii.**_

_**Konan: Can we play it?**_

_**Osaka: We can all play it.**_

_**Osaka goes to her cabinet, and has four Wii Remotes. They play Mario Kart Wii.**_

_**Aya: How did you get a Wii?**_

_**Osaka looks dumbfounded. Aya points to the Wii.**_

_**Osaka: I got it because I performed well at this school.**_

_**Konan: I guess education can reward you…**_

_**Polecat: Truth seems to be stranger than fiction.**_

_**Osaka: Let's play!**_

_**Osaka seems to have won most of the races from Mario Kart Wii. Aya and Polecat only won three races, while Konan only managed one win.**_

_**Konan: You seem to be pretty good at Mario Kart. Why don't you compete against the time trials?**_

_**Osaka: It would be a waste of time. Plus other people can do that.**_

_**Konan: Oh.**_

_**Polecat: It was nice to see you Osaka. You're not as dumb as some people say you are.**_

_**Osaka: It's nice to have some company.**_

_**As Polecat, Aya and Konan leave Osaka's, they wave good, hoping to see her tomorrow. After that, Osaka later got up into her room, got into the kotatsu and, after enjoying it, fell asleep.**_

_**A note from Kitsuneroyale: This seems to be one of my smallest chapters so far.**_


	4. 4: An Old Friend Turns Into An Enemy

Returning to Osaka (Part 4)

By Kitsuneroyale

Osaka wakes up from her kotatsu, and has trouble getting out of it.

Osaka: YUI!

Yui got up into Osaka's room and pulls her out of the kotatsu.

Yui: You have to stop sleeping under that thing. It's a pain to get out of.

Osaka: What's for breakfast today?

Yui: Japanese pancakes.

Osaka: Wow! I haven't had one of those for a while! Not even when I moved from here!

Yui: Ouch.

After breakfast, Osaka walked outside, and sees Polecat, Aya and Konan together. They are not happy for some reason.

Osaka: Hi. What's wrong?

Polecat: It's behind you.

Osaka turns around to see Mako, a former school friend of Osaka.

Osaka: I don't see what's wrong.

Polecat: He teased Aya's hair by calling her garden and he teased my hair by calling me a skunk.

Konan: He teased me by joking about my height.

Mako: At least you're still my friend, Osaka.

Osaka: Actually, you teased my friends, so you're no longer my friend anymore.

Mako: YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!

Osaka: But why?

Mako: I loved you, and you broke my heart.

Polecat: You can't make anything worse!

Mako pushes Polecat onto the grass, where it featured a water sprinkler.

Osaka: HOW DARE YOU DO THAT!

Mako didn't listen to Osaka; He pushed Konan in the same position Polecat was, and waters Aya's hair.

Mako: Good luck getting out alive.

The police arrive and arrest Mako.

Mako: How was this possible?

Osaka: I phoned them.

Mako: YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!

Osaka helped Konan and Polecat up, and later took them to the movies in an attempt to calm their fears. Osaka decides to watch "The Town" with her friends.

Osaka: What's that newspaper saying over there?

Polecat: Some old guy named Leslie Nielsen died today.

Aya: Surely you can't be serious!

Polecat: Oh, I'm serious, and don't call me Shirley.

The four go into the cinema to watch "The Town", but after the movie, it made their fears only worse, because they had a sudden feeling that Mako was watching them.

Osaka: How about we go to a cake buffet?

Polecat: Normally, I'd be happy about it, but I'm still scared.

Osaka: Come on. You can pick your favourite food.

Aya and Konan are still trembling with fear, that they notice Mako everywhere.

Osaka: What's wrong?

Aya and Konan: WE'RE SCARED!

Osaka: Of what?

Aya and Konan: MAKO!

Polecat: HE'S BEHIND YOU!

Mako hits Osaka on her head with a shovel. She's not falling down. She turns around, to where Mako is standing. Mako is beginning to panic very quickly. Polecat, Konan and Aya are furious with Mako. Mako then hits Polecat and Konan, but they don't fall down. Aya snatches the shovel off of Mako, and whacks him over the head with a shovel. He fell. Everyone then cheered for Osaka, long awaiting for Mako to be defeated. Osaka then snapped out of her trance.

Osaka: What happened?

Polecat: You stood up to Mako!

Osaka: I did?

Polecat: It helped us gained courage!

Osaka: It did?

Aya: Yes, it did.

Konan: What matters is that we won, and that the darkness is gone!

Despite that, Osaka got hit on the head by the frame of the door and fell on her back.

Polecat: Could someone call an ambulance, please?

A note from Kitsuneroyale: This was made in tribute to Leslie Nielsen (1926-2010)

Leslie: "I just want you to know, we're all counting on you".


	5. Chapter 5: Recovery

Returning to Osaka (Part 5)

By Kitsuneroyale

NOTE: Before I begin, I'm sorry about the delay of this fanfic. I was busy with other projects, and had little time to complete this part.

Osaka wakes up inside the ambulance with Polecat, Aya and Konan standing right by her side.

Osaka: What happened? Why aren't we at the cake buffet?

Polecat: You've hit your head on the frame of the door.

Osaka: So we didn't celebrate?

Aya: No. You were in a serious condition, so we would rather see you recover than eat without you.

Osaka: That's thoughtful.

Konan: While you were in a coma, what were you dreaming about?

Osaka: For some reason, I keep seeing a yellow flying cat that doesn't have a tail.

Aya: What was its name?

Osaka's school friends (Chiyo, Tomo, Koyomi, Sakaki and Kagura) visit with a gift.

Chiyo: Miss Osaka!

Osaka: Chiyo-chan!

Osaka hugs Chiyo like they missed each other for a long time.

Osaka: Polecat, Aya and Konan, those 5 were my friends before I moved back to Osaka. The smallest one is Chiyo Mihama, who seems to be the smartest one.

Konan: Hi Chiyo!

Chiyo: What's your name.

Konan: I'm Konan.

Osaka: Over there with the hair on her shoulders is Tomo Takino. She bullies Chiyo for no reason.

Polecat: YOU BASTARD!

Polecat beats Tomo up furiously.

Osaka: STOP IT!

Polecat stops hurting Tomo.

Polecat: Why do you bully Chiyo?

Tomo thinks constantly after those words, but came up with no answer.

Tomo: I don't know…

Polecat: You should stop bullying Chiyo over intelligence and height. It's not worth it.

Tomo: Okay.

Polecat: And to make sure you learn your lesson…

Polecat knees Tomo in the gut.

Osaka: The woman who wears glasses is Koyomi Mizuhara, but she is commonly called Yomi. She is the voice of reason.

Aya: Hello, Koyomi.

Yomi: Hello. This seems to be the first time that someone actually called me Koyomi.

Koyomi punches Tomo in the gut.

Yomi: What do you do, Aya?

Aya: I normally do random things, but one of my main things are karaoke.

Yomi: *GASPS* ME TOO!

Tomo: Oh no…

Aya and Yomi both punch Tomo in the gut.

Yomi: We should all sing together sometime…

Tomo: Please… no…

Yomi: WHAT WAS THAT?

Tomo: Yes…

Yomi: Good.

Osaka: The tanned girl with super-sized-

Koyomi attempts to cut her off by punching Tomo in the nose, making her squeal like a pig.

Tomo: DON'T DO IT AGAIN, PLEASE!

Kagura: I'm Kagura. I'm very athletic.

Polecat: Hi Kagura. So Osaka, what were you talking about?

Osaka: I was about to announce Kagura until Koyomi punched Tomo again. Anyway, I think she may have beans with rice…

Everyone stood confused.

Osaka: …Super sized.

Everyone was in complete shock. Except for Koyomi, who was unsurprised with what Osaka was about to say.

Osaka: The tall woman is athletic and has a fetish for cats. Her name is Sakaki.

Sakaki looks embarrassed.

Osaka: What did I say to offend you?

Sakaki remained silent. Chiyo whispered into Osaka's ear.

Osaka: How is that embarrassing?

Chiyo whispers into Osaka's ear, again.

Osaka: Oh. Sorry Sakaki.

Sakaki is still blushing.

Koyomi: So when are you going to feel better, Osaka?

Osaka: It won't be for a while. The doctor said that I had internal bleeding, and-

Aya whispers into Osaka's ear.

Osaka: Oh. About Tomorrow.

Koyomi: Maybe then we can get together for some fun.

Tomo: (whispers) I doubt it.

Koyomi kicks Tomo in the shins.

Tomo: (feebly) Ow…

Koyomi, Chiyo, Sakaki, Kagura and Tomo all leave the hospital.

Polecat: On behalf of the rest of us, we hope that you feel better tomorrow, Osaka.

Osaka: Thank you, everyone.

Osaka then fell asleep. As she slept, Aya, Konan and Polecat slowly and quietly left.

NOTE: I've decided to continue this story for a few more chapters.


End file.
